A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.
Q: What's long and hard on a blackman?
A: The first grade.
Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
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Quote by xMike:
A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa," says the parrot.
Q: Why are all black people fast?
A: Because the slow ones are in jail.
Q: What's long and hard on a blackman?
A: The first grade.
Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Oh so wrong, but funny.
Thie 1st couple couple stroll on up to Peter and expect immediate entry. St Peter says; "Sorry folks, I can't let you in. The 1st preacher deands an explanation and Peter tells him; "Your one love in life was money. You loved money so much that you married a girl named Penny.... so I think you need to find somewhere else to go.
The 2nd preacher and his wife walk up and ask for entry. St Pete says; "Sorry, your one love in life was alcohol. You loved it so much you married a girl named Brandy, so I think you better leave."
The 3rd preacher looks at his wife and says; "Fanny, we're leaving."
Gladiator (Glad-he-ate-her)
Q:What's white and sticky and falls from the sky?
The cumming of the Lord
Here's one I forgot to add:
A Pedophile and a little boy walk into the woods and the little boy says "Mr. I'm scared" and the pedophile says, "You're scared? I have to come out of these woods alone."
Quote by Lou:
LMAO!!!!
My friend bought a LeBron James phone but he can never tell when people are calling because it has no ring.
Quote by Detroit:
Quote by Lou:
LMAO!!!!
My friend bought a LeBron James phone but he can never tell when people are calling because it has no ring.
In honor of today being national LeBron James Day, we all get to leave work 12 minutes early.
It's a good thing LeBron didn't go to college. He'd have skipped the finals anyway.
LeBron's next Be Like Mike move: playing two sports. His best choice is hockey, 'cuz they only play three periods
Around lunch time a black woman walks in and says she's looking for a black dildo. The kid says he has them but they cost 30 bucks. She give him 30, takes it, and walks out.
Right before closing a Polish woman comes in and asks for a plaid dildo. The kid thinks for a minute and says; "yeah, I have one but its 50 buck." The Polish woman says that's fine, gives him 50, takes it, and walks out.
That night his dad ask him how business was that day. He says; "It was great dad! I sold a white woman a white dildo for $20, I sold a black woman a black dildo for $30, and I sold some pollack my Thermos for $50
-When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
- The only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back is a police horse.
The other replies, "No, but I've been swung around by the tits."
A stick.
Trying to read a stucco wall
She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."