Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."
Archived: Want to hear a Joke?
Posted Under: Off-Topic
(Page 3 out of 7): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 11:09 am | #31
Burnt Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 25,000 or higher.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Googler
This user used the Xbox America search bar.
Gamercard Lover
This user has posted one of his or her official Xbox America gamercards on another website.
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 11:23 am | #33
Burnt Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 25,000 or higher.
Bronze Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 50,000 or higher.
Silver Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 100,000 or higher.
Golden Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 150,000 or higher.
360Voice Group
This user is a member of Xbox America's group on 360Voice.com.
Discussion Sparker
This user created a thread which attracted 150 or more replies.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Googler
This user used the Xbox America search bar.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa stops after 3 Ho's.
Santa stops after 3 Ho's.
Re: Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 11:38 am | #34
Burnt Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 25,000 or higher.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Googler
This user used the Xbox America search bar.
Gamercard Lover
This user has posted one of his or her official Xbox America gamercards on another website.
Quote by unkled20:
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa stops after 3 Ho's.
Santa stops after 3 Ho's.
That was a good one.
Re: Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 11:48 am | #36
Burnt Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 25,000 or higher.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Quote by unkled20:
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
Santa stops after 3 Ho's.
Santa stops after 3 Ho's.
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 11:58 am | #38
Burnt Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 25,000 or higher.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
what about them lame pick up lines haha.
is that a mirror in your pants cause i can see myself in them; ) damn goodd!
is that a mirror in your pants cause i can see myself in them; ) damn goodd!
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 12:16 pm | #39
Xbox America Friend
This user has donated $1+ to Xbox America.
Xbox America Sponsor
This user has donated $15+ to Xbox America.
Burnt Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 25,000 or higher.
Bronze Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 50,000 or higher.
Silver Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 100,000 or higher.
Golden Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 150,000 or higher.
1,000 Posts
This user has written over 1,000 posts. Rock on!
360Voice Group
This user is a member of Xbox America's group on 360Voice.com.
Discussion Sparker
This user created a thread which attracted 150 or more replies.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
Re: Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 12:59 pm | #40
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Quote by dudeeericky:
what about them lame pick up lines haha.
is that a mirror in your pants cause i can see myself in them; ) damn goodd!
is that a mirror in your pants cause i can see myself in them; ) damn goodd!
"Hey girl, you into fitness?"
"Um, yeah sure."
"Then how bout fitness dick in yo mouf!"
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 1:59 pm | #41
1,000 Posts
This user has written over 1,000 posts. Rock on!
360Voice Group
This user is a member of Xbox America's group on 360Voice.com.
Discussion Sparker
This user created a thread which attracted 150 or more replies.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Googler
This user used the Xbox America search bar.
This is a good joke, you'll think it's funny!
There's this poor man, and he has no money. Then, he spots a contest at this carnival where he could win a thousand dollars. So he decides "What the heck? I need the money!"
So he goes talk to the guy at the contest booth and asks, "How do I win the thousand dollars?"
"You see these three tents," says the guy at the booth, "First, you've got to go into the 1st tent, and drink a full keg of beer, but if you puke it out, you're disqualified.
"Then you have to go into the 2nd tent, then you must go to the blood thirsty lion and pull the thorn out of its paw."
"Finally you have to go into the 3rd tent, and there is this lady so ugly, that if you look at her, you'll DIE! You must bone her, then you'll win the $1000."
"OK, I can do that," says the guy. So, he goes in the first tent and drinks the beer from the keg. He walks out of the tent with a huge belly while thinking to himself "Oh god, I feel so sick and drunk," and then he asks the booth guy where is the 2nd tent. The booth guy points to it, and he just walks all sloppy over there like he's about to fall over.
So a few seconds after he enters the tent, the booth guy hears the lion roar and a scream of agony. Then after a few minutes, it stopped, and the booth guy was hoping he was OK. It was quiet in the tent for a while.
Then, the lion walks out with a big smile on its face, and the guy is riding it naked. Then he asks:
"Alright, where's the lady with the thorn in its paw?"
There's this poor man, and he has no money. Then, he spots a contest at this carnival where he could win a thousand dollars. So he decides "What the heck? I need the money!"
So he goes talk to the guy at the contest booth and asks, "How do I win the thousand dollars?"
"You see these three tents," says the guy at the booth, "First, you've got to go into the 1st tent, and drink a full keg of beer, but if you puke it out, you're disqualified.
"Then you have to go into the 2nd tent, then you must go to the blood thirsty lion and pull the thorn out of its paw."
"Finally you have to go into the 3rd tent, and there is this lady so ugly, that if you look at her, you'll DIE! You must bone her, then you'll win the $1000."
"OK, I can do that," says the guy. So, he goes in the first tent and drinks the beer from the keg. He walks out of the tent with a huge belly while thinking to himself "Oh god, I feel so sick and drunk," and then he asks the booth guy where is the 2nd tent. The booth guy points to it, and he just walks all sloppy over there like he's about to fall over.
So a few seconds after he enters the tent, the booth guy hears the lion roar and a scream of agony. Then after a few minutes, it stopped, and the booth guy was hoping he was OK. It was quiet in the tent for a while.
Then, the lion walks out with a big smile on its face, and the guy is riding it naked. Then he asks:
"Alright, where's the lady with the thorn in its paw?"
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 2:07 pm | #42
Xbox America Friend
This user has donated $1+ to Xbox America.
Xbox America Sponsor
This user has donated $15+ to Xbox America.
Burnt Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 25,000 or higher.
Bronze Waffle
This user has achieved a gamerscore of 50,000 or higher.
3 Year Login Streak
This user has logged in to Xbox America every day for the past three years.
1,000 Posts
This user has written over 1,000 posts. Rock on!
Community Spotlight
This Xbox America member has been featured in the Monthly Community Spotlight.
360Voice Group
This user is a member of Xbox America's group on 360Voice.com.
Waffle Philanthropist
This user has donated three or more games to the Waffle Order thread.
Barterer
This user has completed 3 or more game trades and is in good trading standing.
Discussion Sparker
This user created a thread which attracted 150 or more replies.
It Defines Me
This user mentioned Xbox America in his Xbox Live biography.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Googler
This user used the Xbox America search bar.
Gamercard Lover
This user has posted one of his or her official Xbox America gamercards on another website.
Community Player
This gamer participated in Xbox America's Xbox.com Community Playdate.
Miscellaneous Service
This user has performed some sort of miscellaneous service for Xbox America that deserves to be recognized.
A pirate walks into a bar and sits at the end of the bar by himself. The bartender can tell he's in a bad mood and gives the pirate his first drink on the house. This lifts the pirate's mood a little. The bartender uses this opening to ask the pirate a question. He says "I can see by the peg-leg and eye patch that your a pirate but what the hell is with the steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replies "Aaaarh, it's driving me nuts!"
The pirate replies "Aaaarh, it's driving me nuts!"
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 2:11 pm | #43
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
^^Classic.
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 2:17 pm | #44
1,000 Posts
This user has written over 1,000 posts. Rock on!
360Voice Group
This user is a member of Xbox America's group on 360Voice.com.
Discussion Sparker
This user created a thread which attracted 150 or more replies.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Googler
This user used the Xbox America search bar.
This is an Irish joke, but it's not intended to make fun of Irish guys.
Spoiler: Click here to toggle spoiler
An Irish guy walks into a bar and sees a genies lamp on the counter. He rubs it and a Genie comes out. "I will grant you three wishes," says the Genie.
"Aye, I wish me a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry." The Genie grants it, and a bottle appears on the counter. The Irish guy drinks it all and it fills up by itself.
"What will be your second wish master?" asks the genie.
"Aye, another one of these would be fine."
Re: Want to hear a Joke?
12/15/09 2:18 pm | #45
1,000 Posts
This user has written over 1,000 posts. Rock on!
360Voice Group
This user is a member of Xbox America's group on 360Voice.com.
Discussion Sparker
This user created a thread which attracted 150 or more replies.
Sociable
This user introduced himself or herself in the Introduce Yourself forum.
Googler
This user used the Xbox America search bar.
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
