Random Thoughts
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Quote by ShadowMachine X:
Quote by SeanPCannon:
You gave your mom mouth to mouth resuscitation along with pumping her chest with your hands? That's hot. Pics or didn't happen.
Wait, he did that? I wasn't allowed to watch Baywatch growing up
Compared to reality TV today, I'm guessing it was all pretty tame. No pics, but her iPHONE got wet, to say the least. strangely, my phone (not an iPHONE) is still okay. despite my pockets being completely drenched. Probably had something to do with the rubber case I have around it- and that my wallet kind of overlapped it, like a bulletproof vest. yay for nokia smartphone circa 2009.
Quote by Vermillion Haze:
Quote by ShadowMachine X:
I think Hank was code for Heath.
Thats his monthly supply.
Edit: Apparently the fix is unplugging your console and plugging it back in...
Quote by heathkilljoy:
Where did you move too?
Quote by SeanPCannon:
Where did you move too?
My guess is from the basement to the shed
Quote by SeanPCannon:
Quote by heathkilljoy:
Where did you move too?
FORM BATON ROUGE to denham springs
Quote by The Snapple Cap:
You're telling me.
Soooo last night I get a text to hang out with a B-celeb & some of her friends. I think, sure- going to be great. Turns into a sausage fest where the only other female is an attractive brunette Aussie... who is supposed to be dating the host's brother. People proceed to get wasted, but I need to drive home, so I'm drinking light. Talking with a screenwriter from Heroes that's thinking the same thing.
Fast forward a few hours, in comes a John Belushi look-alike who is apparently worth $250M, (all these people are in their 20s), but he has his shirt off, & desperately tries to get me to cast him in my next movie, because "he's a legend". Then proceeds to attempt bestiality with the host's female pit bull.
Around 1am, they get the bright idea to go out & sing karaoke. Heroes guy & I try convincing the host to stay in (I have a major meeting B-celeb has to be at, 10hrs from then). Nope. They call a cab, & it's waiting for 15minutes, as they decide whether to go or not. Heroes guy & I assume we're leaving, but Aussie girl drops the bombshell that she's single. This girl's been hitting on us all night. Hot. Really hot. And she's not as plastered as everyone else.
So we arrive at the bar. (John Belushi is still shirtless, with a big ass crack, but wearing a $3000 coat (so he claims). Bar scene starts out well enough- everyone watching Aussie girl singing and dancing. Last call is announced. John Belushi decides to take off his coat. Owner tells shirtless fat man he has to leave. John Belushi punches him in the face. Owner's (wife) screams to leave. Suddenly every guy in the bar decides to be a tough guy- and pull Belushi out of the bar. Belushi knocks over two tables- breaks glasses, and punches a woman, and breaks another guy's glasses. I'm watching all this from a corner of the bar, with Aussie girl, and Heroes guy.
Cops are called, (obviously), so the three of us quietly leave. B-actress host & her brother stay, trying to defend Belushi (because they're plastered). B-actress gets thrown in the back of a cop car for an hour, to detox. Belushi has a stream of blood raining down his face... and is arrested. Aussie girl, myself, & Heroes guy walk back to the host's condo, exchange numbers, & wait for B-actress to get home.
Aussie girl invites us two, to an Aussie party Christmas Eve with her friends (hell yeah). B-actress gets home & lost her car keys & house keys. So proceeds to climb over a car, jump like Spider Man onto her balcony (2nd floor), and enter from the rear. We all thank her for a lovely evening, (it's 3:15am). Heroes guy and I get to our cars- & both get a $75 parking ticket (area is closed 2am-6am). But the ticket was sighted at 3:18am, so we missed it by a few minutes.
Happy holidays!
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