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BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

Game Review | March 22, 2015 2:14 am

BoyzRFLatt’s Salty Soapbox or his Pessimistic Pedestal

I’m going to write a review, just for fun, where I write about all of the things I hate about a game. Not a single thing positive will be said. This is not to say I don’t like the game, or that there aren’t things I like or appreciate about it. I just feel like having some fun bashing games. When I finish it, I may come back and right a redeeming review from my optimistic observatory (more alliterations).

So Final Fantasy Type-0. Who the HELL decided this game needed an HD Port? I swear the absolute only reason this game was made was so that Final Fantasy would be relevant again just in time for FFXV to be released. Here’s a whole bunch of reasons this game sucks and was not worth my $60.

NUMBER 1
You turn this game on, and as soon as it starts, the mouth movement and voices are completely out of sync and. And not in the sort of “oh, well its a Japanese game and they just dubbed it! Of course its out of sync!” No. No that’s that the problem. The problem is that the sprites don’t even look like they’re talking. They just look like they’re moving their mouths to chew with their mouths open on a big piece of shit because that’s how bad the sync is. On the PSP, this is one thing, since its a small screen and we tend to have lower standards for that stuff. But on current gen consoles? Inexcusable.

NUMBER 2
The sprites themselves look like crap. How is this an HD remake if the sprites look like they belong on my portable? You can’t sharpen up the backgrounds and music and then keep the sprites the same. That’s not HD. That’s lazy.

NUMBER 3
The cuts in between scenes are so rough that if I watch too close they cut me and I bleed all over the place. Every single time you’re in the middle of a cutscene, it abruptly ends, its as if somebody took the music score and puts it on mute in the most distasteful of ways, and then suddenly some narrator dude comes in and starts telling me a bedtime story. Narrator, you’re my least favorite character in the game so far, and I need you to stop talking.

NUMBER 4
You can’t have a cast of over 12 playable characters, numerous very important NPCs, and a super deep backstory, and not take at least 5-10 minutes to explain who each of the characters are and WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE. How am I meant to invest into the story of this terrible horrible war where so many bad things are happening and people are dying, if I don’t know who any of the characters are. Its not even like (most of them) have horribly difficult to pronounce Japanese names to confuse me. No. They are a bunch of numbers and face cards for names. What would have been so hard about having just one more cutscene in the beginning of the game, or in the title screen, that told me who each character was, directly or indirectly, so that I don’t have to sit here and look it up on Google? I mean seriously?

Number 5
Same vein as number 4, but the backstory sounds like its SO DEEP, why couldn’t they explain where this game takes place, what the two or three sides of this war are, and who their leaders are? Its supposed to be the most important part of the game, the story, they set it up so high at first and the BOOM they leave you hanging with no actual understanding of what’s going on.

As I said at the start, I by no means dislike this game, and I don’t regret having bought it (yet) and I am sure over the next couple weeks I will share all my growing positive feelings towards this game. I just really wanted to get some frustrations out about how utterly unnecessary and over priced I found this game, and the fatal flaws I find in its delivery.

Keywords: Final Fantasy, Type 0

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Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/22/15 2:16 am | #2

Quote by boyz:

I’m going to write a review, just for fun, where I write about all of the things I hate about a game. Not a single thing positive will be said.

This is how I approach every review I write, basically. Then I wimp out and edit in some nice stuff right before I publish it. My rough drafts are mean.

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Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/22/15 9:42 am | #3

Quote by Kat:

Quote by boyz:

I’m going to write a review, just for fun, where I write about all of the things I hate about a game. Not a single thing positive will be said.

This is how I approach every review I write, basically. Then I wimp out and edit in some nice stuff right before I publish it. My rough drafts are mean.

Like I said here and elsewhere, I do enjoy the game, I just REALLY needed to get out all my huge frustrations about it.

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Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/22/15 10:17 am | #4

Maybe it's an attempt to sell strategy guides? They should have an add pop up mid game. "Confused? Get 20% off the strategy guide at GameStop with proof of purchase."

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Re: Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/22/15 6:50 pm | #5

Quote by BoyzRFlatt:

Quote by Kat:

This is how I approach every review I write, basically. Then I wimp out and edit in some nice stuff right before I publish it. My rough drafts are mean.

Like I said here and elsewhere, I do enjoy the game, I just REALLY needed to get out all my huge frustrations about it.

I totally agree with this. I like the game a lot, and a big part of why is that it has that "old school" feel from times before they changed the format of FF games (so, pre xiii). But I can definitely see why it would be frustrating, especially to people new to the series.

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Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/23/15 5:20 pm | #6

Yep. With all of this chatter about this game being really bad - I am avoiding this game.

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Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/23/15 5:43 pm | #7

Quote by Mo the Surfer:

Yep. With all of this chatter about this game being really bad - I am avoiding this game.

Definitely not a bad game. Don't believe the hate it's at least 7/10 all day long.

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Re: Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/23/15 5:45 pm | #8

Quote by Vermillion Haze:

Quote by Mo the Surfer:

Yep. With all of this chatter about this game being really bad - I am avoiding this game.

Definitely not a bad game. Don't believe the hate it's at least 7/10 all day long.

If I was going to play it - and I am not saying that I am - I would probably find a copy for the PSP and play it on that system. First, I would have to purchase a PSP and I don't see that ever happening.

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Re: Re: Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/23/15 5:47 pm | #9

Quote by Mo the Surfer:

Quote by Vermillion Haze:

Definitely not a bad game. Don't believe the hate it's at least 7/10 all day long.

can you read japanese?

the only American release of this game is on Xbox one and ps4 dude.

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Re: Re: Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/23/15 5:47 pm | #10

Quote by Mo the Surfer:

Quote by Vermillion Haze:

Definitely not a bad game. Don't believe the hate it's at least 7/10 all day long.

Unfortunately that would be impossible unless you can read Japanese. I recommend picking up a used copy at Gamestop. If you end up hating it simply abuse the return policy. If you enjoy action oriented RPG's there is a lot to like here.

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Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

03/23/15 8:45 pm | #11

I wouldn't say it's not a worth while game. Just not worth $60. Get it when the price drops for sure

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Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

04/20/15 2:37 pm | #12

I am about 13 hours in to this game and while I am really enjoying it, I also agree with every point BoyzR makes here.

It feels like they didn't finish porting the game all the way, as some elements still look nasty and sub-par even for a PSP title.

The combat is really weird at first and they overload you with instructions and story clips right at the beginning without really explaining anything. The tutorial isn't nearly adequate for the systems at play but luckily the combat and mechanics quickly make sense as you go in.

I want to hate how obnoxious some of the English VO is but then again, it fits the whole school-age-kids vibe perfectly. Some characters are better in and out of combat than others, so it is nice that you can focus on about 6 of them and ignore the rest.

Ultimately I agree this should not have been a $60 game at any point, but Final Fantasy fans should get their hands on it as it feels like a nice, side action FF game somerwhat like Crisis Core, and that shooter one with Vincent, and the other spin-off titles.

+edit+ oh one thing he didn't mention that I feel I should: grinding in this game is quick, easy and fun. There are random encounters in the overworld, and after you finish off the group of enemies, you have the choice to leave combat, or fight the group again up to 5 times, with the enemies becoming a little tougher each time. In a nice conceit, you can return to your school at any time to raise KO'd characters and refill, and you get to keep XP you earned.

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Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

04/21/15 5:36 am | #13

Quote by Meta:

Grinding your mom is a quick, easy and fun random encounter as well.

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Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

11/11/15 6:26 am | #14

So this isn't a buy?

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Re: Re: BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

11/11/15 9:57 am | #15

Quote by E Rock 31:

So this isn't a buy?

It's like- $20 now, so it's worth it to fans of the series and jrpgs.

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BoyzRFLatt’s Pessimistic Pedestal: FF Type 0

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