Interview | July 1, 2013 9:00 am

By AJ

AJ: Well, well, well. Our resident Sith Lord has finally made it into XBA's community spotlight. You've been around these parts since December 2007, that's a year and some change before me! I've been told I missed a lot in the ways of flame wars, bannings, clone wars, etc. You remember anything monumental happening around the time you signed up or shortly thereafter?

Dvader: I don't recall anything memorable around the time, since I wasn't on the site for a couple of years after having originally signed up and wrote my intro thread. At the time I was active on the forums of GamerDNA, the company that also ran 360Voice at the time. After the debacle that happened when the owners sold the site to Crispy Gamer, who promptly fired off the staff, as well as staff from their own site while the majority of the members from GamerDNA were leaving in droves, I remembered having signed up with XBA and decided to return to the site as an active member back in October 2009.

AJ: Hmm, by October 2009 I was here spamming up the boards. Ahh, the good 'ole days. This was the first Xbox related site I signed up for so I have no idea about the whole fiasco with Crispy Gamer (although he does sound like a giant feminine cleansing product).

Anyway, why don't you start off by telling everyone why you're here, how you found the place and when you started gaming. I'll try to keep the first few questions free of harassment, sexual innuendos and overall tomfoolery, unless you're into that kind of thing...?

Dvader: Let's see, to start off with, someone I worked with back in 2007 mentioned the site and the leaderboards for each state, so I decided to check it out and see where I ranked for my state. I started gaming at the age of five waaayyy back in 1988 on the NES, playing Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt, but I didn't really get hooked into gaming until a few years later when I started playing the original Command & Conquer.

I don't think I should mind too terribly if some questions included a bit of tomfoolery or other shenanigans. If anyone reading this wants to hear more about what happened at GamerDNA during what I would call the dark times, I would be willing to share stories.

AJ: It's always the leaderboards... Everyone comes for the leaderboards. I guess that's not a bad thing though. I like to think people come to make fun of Meta and how ridiculously bad at games he is.

Anywho, so would it be safe to assume you're a Command and Conquer: Red Alert fan? I'm not even sure if that's the latest one or not, I'm definitely not a fan of real-time strategy games. If that's not you're favorite genre of game why don't you go ahead and tell us what is. What game has you forever coming back to it?

Dvader: Well, I might make fun of Meta on occasion, or I might let a "dammit Lou" slip out, it can vary depending on the situation.

I do like most of the Command & Conquer games, though I haven't kept up with buying each new game, mainly due to not having a PC that can run anything newer than C&C Generals. I enjoy playing some real-time strategy games on PC when the mood strikes me, which include the aforementioned Command & Conquer series, Age of Empires, as well as turn-based strategy such as Civilization. When I play on my 360, I have been known to hit up the shooter genre or the sandbox genre, but by far the top genre I play on 360 is the RPG genre. I have invested so much time into Oblivion, Skyrim, Fallout 3, and Mass Effect combined, that it borders on the ridiculous.

AJ: Good man. Better than playing gay ass CoD 24/7 like Circus, god what a douche. Until they bring back CoD4 I don't think I'll ever enjoy another one in the series. But seriously, all the games you listed in the last part of your answer are awesome (except Mass Effect 1, that game was ass).

Ok, let's try something different here. If you could mash up a few games into one, what would your dream game be? I'll give you an example - I'd take the first person style/smoothness/character of CoD4 and import that into Fallout (either 3 or New Vegas) and for enemies I would take the Big Daddies/splicers out of Bioshock 1/2. But...... I would also like the abilities the TimeShift character had. I'd call the game CodShock OutShift. The name could use some work, but hey, I would play the shit out of that game.

Meta sent me this PM while writing this email, this would be his game. This is all in his words, an exact quote (Ok, maybe not exact. But paraphrased for sure).


Take your time, you don't want to end up with a game like that ^.

Dvader: I know what you mean. CoD 4 had the best multi-player, now all successive games in the series basically re-hash the same formula over and over again with new coats of paint thrown on to make each games' MP seem slightly different and marginally improved. Though I will say that the zombies co-op mode makes for a nice change of pace at times.

If I were to make a dream mash-up single-player game, I would mix some of the armor and weaponry of the Elder Scrolls games with the over-the-top Force powers from Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, throw in the perks and Fawkes the Super-Mutant from Fallout 3. The enemies that one would face in the game would be the Juggernauts from the Spec-Ops missions in the Modern Warfare sequels fighting alongside the Hunters and Elites from the Halo series. I'm not entirely sure what name I'd give this game.

I was going to ask what did Meta get into, to be writing something like that, but I realized this IS Meta that we're talking about. He says and does zany things like that on a regular basis.

AJ: Fuckin' Fawkes. That dude/thing/manbeast was amazing. When I met him I was ecstatic, he made the game that much better. And Meta, let's not even get started on his perverse view of what he calls reality... Fucking weirdo. Your game sounds so much better than mine, I would definitely play that, on the hardest difficulty, then rage quit and cry in a corner because those enemies sound rather difficult. I really hope there's no developers that will stumble upon this and make millions and billions on our 20 second ideas...

Let's keep this thing rolling, What are thoughts on the absolutely terrible, shitty, craptastic new Xbox 3? I mean seriously, it's just so terrible looking, and the features seem completely stupid - sure they're cool for 13 year olds and people like Meta who like completely stupid, worthless shit and there's so much more I just don't even want to think about it anymore. Take it away!

Dvader: I know, right? That guy with his laser Gatling cannon saved me SO much ammo when he charged into an encampment and wiped out most enemies in less than a minute. Though it did mean that sneaking up happened a lot less often.

To be honest, I think that the new Xbone could be better in quite a few areas (read: the consumers that make up the majority of your base aren't kids anymore M$, and there's already a system geared toward families), but I think that it will be great for playing games. M$ used the reveal of the system to focus too much on the features that it can do in addition to gaming (read: streaming television, creepy spying Kinects), which was a massive boneheaded mistake on their part. Unless they make a sudden and drastic change from their current strategy with television content available on the 360, I really don't see that catching on with the new system; because let's think about this, they're wanting consumers to pay for a high-speed internet connection, a cable/satellite television subscription and/or a subscription to an online video site, and a fifty dollar per year subscription to access that content on your Entertainment Console; yeah, that's great, except that a lot of people either can't get access to those services or can't afford them.

As for myself, I might do what I did when the 360 came out, and wait to purchase one later on when I can actually enjoy it. I waited until after the Elite model debuted to purchase mine and M$ had to replace it only once in six years due to RRoD, and that was possible only because they started offering three year warranties on new models -- and I'm not even sure that one really was dead, now that I've found out that they can appear to have RRoD when they're accidentally unplugged while playing.

AJ: All valid points. I especially agree with the multiple subscriptions to be able to use some of the features on the new console. Personally, I'm ready to ditch live and get a Blu-Ray player that will run Netflix and HBO GO without a yearly fee. The only reason I've had live the last few months was because of those 2 apps. After that happens the only thing I'd want in my home is high speed internet. I never watch anything on television live.

I'm sure we can expect some discussion of the next console in the comments.

Let's see, what now? How about you tell the community a little bit about yourself since I seem to have forgotten that! Please put a lot of emphasis on that beard of yours...

Dvader: Let's see... I've lived in Washington State all my life (thirty years this past March); been a gamer since the age of five; I've been a Star Wars fan most of my life (no surprises there); over the past few years I've made a run through most of the Star Trek television series and movies -- the J.J. Abrams re-boot movies are great, I like the idea of exploring what happened to bring Kirk, Spock and the crew of the original series together, and making an alternate timeline to keep the plot of these new movies separate from the series for the purists that might complain about making story lines that weren't made or approved by Gene Roddenberry; I'm into comics/graphic novels a little; I guess one could call me an all-around nerd.

As for my beard, with the majority of my ancestry being Norwegian, I can grow a great beard and it's brown with a lot of red mixed in. The picture of me in which I'm sporting a rather large beard is from July of 2010 after I had grown it since the previous November -- that's eight months in which no grooming instrument came near it. I trimmed it back shortly after the picture was taken, since I had a job interview and thought it would be wise to not show up looking like a mountain man. I currently have a shorter version coming along nicely, but I trim it back periodically since it can get kind of warm under all that hair (especially with the out-of the-ordinary warm summers that the western part of Washington has seen over the past few years).

AJ: Pssshhhh, Star Wars... Star Trek... Get at me when you've watched LOST! Unless you have, then you're in good standing with me. I was into the whole Star Trek thing a lonnnggggg time ago, never really watched them religiously but I did enjoy them. Janeway was my favorite captain.

You must work a second shift job like myself because all your replies to my questions and game completion leaderboard updates are always around 3-4am. I personally work 4pm to midnight. I love that schedule, never any traffic going to work and even less going home! Only thing that sucks is not being on a normal schedule like most people, always hard to make plans with friends (but I don't have any so it's fine for me).

Dvader: Lost is on my list of things to watch at some point in the future, so hopefully that's enough to keep me in decent standing. I've only watched through the series finale of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, so I can't yet make a decision between all of the captains, though Picard seems to be the front-runner thus far.

Actually, I'm not currently working, just looking for a new job; I have a written exam coming up in about a week and a half for an electrical apprenticeship, so hopefully that works out. I usually am logged into XbA just after midnight locally since I watch The Tonight Show & Late Night with Jimmy Fallon while I check through the forum posts from the day, so that would be around 3-4 am for those located east of the Mississippi.



I was sure that Meta is the site's resident friendless person, not you. Sure, you're always playing Trials, but he's the one challenging new members to kung-fu fights or telling them that he loves them. Seems as though claiming top spots on the leaderboards for a couple of games isn't on quite the same level as being some sort of creepy stalker.

AJ: Hahaha, you're probably right. Meta just sucks all around, God, what a douche! I know in previous spotlights we've attempted to surprise attack him, but everyone has chickened out. We'll get that bastard someday... We'll have to use Kat or Mindy to lure him into our trap. Don't worry, I'll set something up.

You'll like LOST. It's just such an amazing show. You might want to watch it while you're not working because it's something you'll want to watch every second you get!

Anyway, speaking of Meta, here's some questions he wanted to ask you and some other nonsense I didn't understand. Everything after this sentence is from him...


Dvader: The best thing I can think of to sneak attack Meta would be to use a ninja, they're great for that sort of thing. Or even just stick him with a shiv, whatever floats your boat. On an entirely different note, I've heard nothing but good things about Lost, so I'll probably watch it fairly soon.

As for these questions by Meta, I'll do my best to answer them. In the first battle, Darth Vader wins, since he's hands-down one of the best villains and all-around bad-asses of all time, plus he is unbelievably powerful. In the second battle, Darth Nihilus wins, since he does have the ability to use The Force to siphon off his opponents' life-force. The abbreviation of T.I.E. in T.I.E. Fighter stands for Twin Ion Engine. Not sure about the airline peanuts, since I haven't flown in the last ten years. I have no idea what you're even talking about with that bit about crashing your car and loving it, though I suspect you got into the rum again and as a result are just spouting random nonsense. Why is the rum always gone?

AJ: That sounds like a plan. Now we just need to find a ninja or ninjas willing to do anything for very miniscule amounts of money... I'll start browsing craigslist.

I can't really think of anything else to ask. Do you have any questions you'd like to ask any of the staff? I'll bet something is heading towards Meta's general direction.

Dvader: Good ol' Craigslist; is there any item or service it can't provide?

Although it's probably been explained before, I might not have been paying attention or may have been out inflicting torture upon the rebel scum, but what's the story behind Minioger's gamertag? Since you hail from Chi-town AJ, which of the local sports teams (if any) do you support? Why are there listings for the fifty states and D.C., but Canada is lumped together as a single region? And why doesn't Mexico get anything at all? Oh wait, maybe they're counted as part of California. I would try to come up with more questions for the staff, but I don't really know them that well; though that will likely be changing after this interview is posted to the site sometime this year.

Here's what's heading Meta's way (spoken in a ridiculous fake French accent), "I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries; now go away or I shall taunt you a second time."

Even though this didn't come up in the questions, I'd like to give shout-outs to PureEvil, Michael a.k.a. Maglite 420/Me Grimlock 420, UnnamedSaint, Durtie, and the rest of the group that boosted the Gears 1 MP achievements a few years ago; those guys were very helpful in getting me acquainted with the community of Xbox America (and of course introducing me to Evil's son telling Meta to "eat a dick!!!").

In fact, medals all around; a purple heart for Grif, a pink heart for Donut, and a brown nose for Simmons. And now I'm off to continue my reign of terror in that galaxy far, far away.

AJ:



Care to respond to any of that?

Dvader: To Meta, I say: my monies is in the form of coconuts, so Swallows can't grip it properly. Now I'll give you till the count of three before I chuck the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at you.

To Mini: Seems legit. But how did PureEvil get involved in your story?

To Kat: I know not this "Murica" you speak of. I do, however, know of America which happens to be one kick-ass country. And that's all I got to say about that. I'm out.

AJ: Well, that should just about do it for this interview. I can't really think of anything else to ask.

So on behalf of the staff at XBA, I would just like to say thanks for taking the time out of your schedule to answer our questions! If you'd like to thank anyone, go ahead and give a shout out!

Dvader: Okay then, that didn't seem to be too painful for an interview. Not much in the way of the shenanigans that were hinted at happening in the start of this actually came to pass.

As for shout outs, see earlier in the interview for them. Bwa-ha-ha-ha, now I have created an infinite loop by making you all go back and re-read to this point again and again. (Okay, after about your third time through, you can stop and exit the torment.)

AJ: As always, enjoy the shades! This pair is from my personal collection.

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