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Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

Editorial | November 3, 2013 5:46 am

A long time ago in our galaxy (the Milky Way) a bunch of renegade outlaws got together and decided they would make a new country. On top of this, they also decided they would make up new laws and rules.

Why? To avoid having to send money and resources back to the people that raised them! Limey wanking Britons!

ANYWAY one of the new rules was that for certain times of year, we would all pretend that the time we had made up was actually an hour removed from the time we had made up. This was called Daylight Saving Time because pretending everything was an hour before it really was saved candles and bovine hormones.

Mudkip ain't got time to fuck with no dark ages time scheduling.

So hopefully somewhere around 2am this morning you remembered to set your time-tracking device back an hour.

If you didn't, the ghost of Benjamin Franklin will rise from the ground and do some hoodrat shit with your smart phone when you accidentally leave it at home.

Goodbye Daylight Saving Time, ye salacious fucker ye! We hardly knew ya yet you left enough of an impression to piss off Mudkip, and that's not an easy thing to do because Mudkip is incredibly bubbly and gushes over pretty much anything.

We shall see ye again next March the 9th in the year of our Lord 2014.

(Source: Bitz's butt cheeks)

Keywords: #yolo, #hashtag, #incestporn

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 6:40 am | #2

Very informative. Thanks for shedding light on this obvious Illuminati conspiracy. #MudkipisaCambion

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 9:06 am | #3

I agree with the Anteater.

Good read. Fun was had for all.

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 10:53 am | #4

What a lovely reminder that I forgot to change my clocks. Luckily I don't have work today or I would definitely have been late.

Great conspiracy rant though. A+

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 10:58 am | #5

Heh, quite humorous, it may have been suggested by Benjamin Franklin, but it wasn't put into effect until WW1.

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 12:00 pm | #6

What is this Daylight Savings Time you people speak of? You see, there's a renegade state in the nation formed by the renegades that said "Lose an hour? Gain an hour? WTF?" and then they all were like "No. We will not bow to your stupid conspiracies and we do not believe in Daylight Savings... or that Democrats know what they're talking about. This is Arizona! We are Republicans and old people! Stupid crazy young people and their time magic!" And thus, the rebellion against Daylight Savings began. The war was horrible and bloody. The bloodiest that this world had seen since the great food riots of 1732. Brother against brother. Father against son. Zookeeper against Anteater. The war lasted for many moons before the rebels of old Republicans became victorious. So this is why we don't have Daylight Savings time here... and a bunch of old people... and a lot of Republicans.... and probably some Illuminati...

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 12:23 pm | #7

I don't know what a murder ape is, but my money is on that.

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Re: Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 12:32 pm | #8

Quote by Kat:

I don't know what a murder ape is, but my money is on that.

#incestporn

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Re: Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 1:04 pm | #9

Quote by Kimberly cx:

What a lovely reminder that I forgot to change my clocks. Luckily I don't have work today or I would definitely have been late.

Great conspiracy rant though. A+

Wouldn't you have been early :confused:

All Hail Lord Anteater!
#Illuminati

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 1:24 pm | #10

META!! YOU GODDAMNED MOTHE.....

Oh, daylight savings time? Carry on.

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 2:52 pm | #11

Also, remember to change the batteries in your smoke detectors (imagine me saying that in Hank Hill's voice).

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Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/03/13 7:14 pm | #12

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Re: Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/04/13 3:26 am | #13

Quote by Kat:

I don't know what a murder ape is, but my money is on that.

You're reading it wrong. It's all one word, coined by me.

Murderape: (verb) to purposely rape something until it dies

"Hey Brian, I can't believe you forgot to set your clock back. Daylight Saving Time murderaped your chances for employee of the month."

Similar word: haterape, coined by my late friend Scott: (verb) to rape something or someone of a different race

"Police reported that the KKK members hateraped 3 Mexicans."

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Re: Re: Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/04/13 10:46 am | #14

Quote by Meta:

Quote by Kat:

I don't know what a murder ape is, but my money is on that.

Oh, so it's what otters do!

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

11/04/13 11:06 am | #15

Quote by Kat:

Quote by Meta:

Oh, so it's what otters do!

It's otter time.

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Daylight Saving Time: Fact? ...or MURDERAPE!!1

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