Conan the Barbarian (2011) - 3.75/5
I could finaggle about a lot of small things, like how they made Conan more of a noble hero than a barbarian, but overall it was an enjoyable movie. Despite the lack of humor and irony that made parts of the original so endearing, this reboot had a few good characters. I think they should have just come up with a new low-fantasy character and kept everything the same but I realize they needed the draw of the Conan name to secure the budget and then and such as.
Final Destination 5 (3D) - 1/5
This movie was retarded. I don't even know why I went to see it.... ok yeah I do, I had some time to kill and it was playing in the auditorium next to mine so I grabbed some glasses out of the recycley box and walked in. The characters were all incredibly unlikeable and I can't figure out why people enjoy watching them die in horrific & grisly manners over and over again. I'm not trying to be preachy; Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my favourite films ever but the difference to me is that TCM had a lot of atmosphere and a very characterful story whereas the Final Destination franchise seems to have distilled in to gore porn because it literally consists of nothing but setting up characters to be killed in drawn-out, gory, graphic & visceral ways and then takes the time to linger on all the grief and suffering caused by the tragedies. The fact that the characters and the story itself are fucking high school writing reject shit doesn't even matter.
Captain America - 2.5/5
This movie wasn't bad but I didn't find it particularly exciting either. Cap was always one of the more terribler Marvel characters in my opinion, and I only like him because of the Versus fighting games. Matter of fact, the most fun I had during the movie was shouting "Shield Slash!" and "Charging Star!" during appropriate action scenes since the auditorium was tiny and I was the only person there. Cartoonish potrayal of WW2 coupled with boring CGI = I don't care much.
I could finaggle about a lot of small things, like how they made Conan more of a noble hero than a barbarian, but overall it was an enjoyable movie. Despite the lack of humor and irony that made parts of the original so endearing, this reboot had a few good characters. I think they should have just come up with a new low-fantasy character and kept everything the same but I realize they needed the draw of the Conan name to secure the budget and then and such as.
Final Destination 5 (3D) - 1/5
This movie was retarded. I don't even know why I went to see it.... ok yeah I do, I had some time to kill and it was playing in the auditorium next to mine so I grabbed some glasses out of the recycley box and walked in. The characters were all incredibly unlikeable and I can't figure out why people enjoy watching them die in horrific & grisly manners over and over again. I'm not trying to be preachy; Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of my favourite films ever but the difference to me is that TCM had a lot of atmosphere and a very characterful story whereas the Final Destination franchise seems to have distilled in to gore porn because it literally consists of nothing but setting up characters to be killed in drawn-out, gory, graphic & visceral ways and then takes the time to linger on all the grief and suffering caused by the tragedies. The fact that the characters and the story itself are fucking high school writing reject shit doesn't even matter.
Captain America - 2.5/5
This movie wasn't bad but I didn't find it particularly exciting either. Cap was always one of the more terribler Marvel characters in my opinion, and I only like him because of the Versus fighting games. Matter of fact, the most fun I had during the movie was shouting "Shield Slash!" and "Charging Star!" during appropriate action scenes since the auditorium was tiny and I was the only person there. Cartoonish potrayal of WW2 coupled with boring CGI = I don't care much.
