Interview | January 1, 2013 9:00 am

By AJ

Hmm, it's someone that likes alcohol. Any guesses? Maybe this next picture will help! And if not, you're a lost cause and will be banned.




AJ: Well, well, well. It's everyone's favorite accident prone, beer promoter! I think my most memorable Simpsons' quote would have to be, "Duffman... Can't breathe, OH NO!"


Anyway (just for you, Kat [inside joke]), why don't you start off with the usual by telling everyone a bit (or a lot) about yourself to get things moving along.

Jared: Well, in case you can't tell, I love alcohol and The Simpsons. Though I can't claim to like alcohol as much as some of the other people around here.... *cough* Snapple Cap *cough*..... sorry getting over a cold. Personally, I am 27 years old. I have worked at the same place for going on 6 years now. I've been engaged for going on 2 years now, I'm in no real hurry to take the rest of that plunge. Other than that I'm just your normal alcohol drinking, video game playing, slightly crazy 27 year old.

AJ: I too love alcohol and animated shows. I used to be hardcore into The Simpsons, but for some reason (I think the 360) I just stopped watching it altogether and don't really miss it at all. I'm more of a Family Guy man myself. I just find that show absolutely hilarious. I find The Simpsons humorous, but not hilarious. Meh, just my preference I guess.

So, you mentioned you have been engaged for the last couple years. Is your fiance into gaming at all? If so, what's your favorite game to play co-op with her? I'm going to go ahead and guess with 100% accuracy that it's Lips. Justin Bieber, all the way. I know that's how you roll!

Jared: I still watch The Simpsons on a weekly basis, though I think they have lost their touch. Definitely not what it use to be. I am a big Family Guy man as well. So I can understand that.

As for my fiance, she does game, but unfortunately it's mostly on the Wii. She did, in fact, use to play Lips on the 360, but hasn't in quite some time. Though I can get her to sing sometimes when we are drunk and playing rock band. Other than that she will play some Kinect games, mostly the Dance Central games. We use to both try to dance at the same time, but there just isn't enough room. Also, if they ever did have a Justin Bieber Lips game, I would be first in line to get me some of that.

My favorite thing to do, which I use to do a lot when I played Gears of War online religiously, was let her wear my headset and trash talk for me. We both had fun with that. I would go on a tear killing people while she would talk trash. It was funny how angry guys would get when they thought they were getting destroyed by a woman. The only down side was the next day when got back on the xbox, I would have 30 friend requests from random dudes excited that they found a woman online.

AJ: I knew it. I can sense a Belieber from thousands of miles away. It's a gift... And a curse. Mostly a curse, though. But let's get back to business. That does sound hilarious, giving your fiance the mic while you run around destroying people. I don't really know how I would react, probably send a picture of my balls. But I can do that anyway if you'd like.

You've been around XBA for a while now, longer than me, I think. How'd you find the place? Were you just here to check your rank or have you always been a fan of achievement hunting? Tell us now!

Jared: Most of us would consider that a curse. You know, I'm actually surprised that no one ever sent random pictures like that. But back when we use to do that, the only thing out was the vision camera and I don't think that thing was all that popular. I hate to think about what kind of random crap I would receive now that most people have a Kinect. I might just have to take you up on the ball shot some day though.....

Man... I've been a member of this site for almost 4 and a half years. When I joined I wasn't an achievement hunter. Heck, I think my gamerscore was only somewhere around 10k. I can't remember exactly where it was I heard about the site. But I do remember that it was Jackson who got me to join. He had made a topic about it on some other forum saying that he was looking for active members. I joined here and lurked for a little bit while checking the place out. Then, eventually I became a regular. I don't post as much as some other people that have almost 15 thousand posts...

AJ: Jackson was one of those douches that trolls other forums asking people to join his forum?!?! I... I... Don't know... What to say... Crazy. I know we're not a huge, giant community here, but I never would've thought it was like that. I always figured the website started with 10,000 people... Ok, maybe not. And yea, who the hell has almost 15,000 posts on a website? What a douche-nozzle loser. Seriously...

Ok, so. If you had to pick. One game, any system, any game. Which game would you want to live in (not actually live in the game), like say if real life took after the game. You were the main/famous character. Any gangs/enemies/etc. normally after you would still try to kill you. Which game would pick and why?

I'll give you an example. I'd pick Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball, for obvious reasons. I FUCKIN' LOVE VOLLEYBALL.


And boobies.

Jared: Yeah, I'm pretty sure back when I joined, it wasn't too long after they had changed from being Xbox Ohio or something like that. He was going around trying to find more people.

If I had to pick a video game to live in....

It would be any of the Gameboy/Nintendo DS Pokemon games. I mean, come on, how awesome would that be. You get to travel around with some friends. Catch and battle with Pokemon. Plus, you only have to worry about a couple of douche bags that are trying to steal Pokemon that are apparently very bad at their job. There are many other reasons why living in the Pokemon would be awesome. Just too many for me to list here.

My first answer to that question was gonna either be The Hannah Montana movie game or My Horse and Me 2. But I figured those answers would have been too obvious. Though your idea of Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball doesn't sound that bad either.

AJ: Hmm, Pokemon... Touche'. I'm standing by my answer though.

So, I know you're a hardcore Battlefield player since that's usually what your signature on the site is usually about. Would it be safe to assume that that's your favorite game/franchise? Or is there something else you like to play more? If there is something else, I'm going to say it's Trials.

Jared: Battlefield is one of my favorite franchises, it's my favorite when it comes to multiplayer. When it comes to single player games though, I will buy every Fallout game that they bring out. It's one of those games that I can sink a lot of hours into. Hell, I think I have 5 different characters all at max level in Fallout 3 alone. The Elders Scrolls series has also become one of my favorites. Not to mention, recently I have walked a little off of the Xbox path and have gotten slightly addicted to Diablo on the PC.

Oh, and yes I do quite enjoy Trials. Though it's starting to get a little annoying since every time I play it I have to watch your damn name fly by me on the screen.

AJ: I'm sorry. I'll try to ride a little slower so other people can keep up! All the games you've listed with the exception of Diablo and Battlefield are also my favorites as well. I wish I could get into Battlefield but it just feels clunky and not as smooth as Call of Dooty. I keep telling myself I'm going buy Battlefield 3, but it still hasn't happened yet, maybe someday. I'll probably just wait for Battlefield 4.

Who do you think would win in a fight; the very scrappy, biting, scratching and kicking will probably try to throw sand in your eyes Meta. The tall, obese (according to his Wii), backyard brawler who will undoubtedly try to blindside you Minioger. Or the gun toting, knife wielding, assassin who will seduce you then slowly kill you Kat?

Obviously I'm exempt from the fight because I'm just way too pretty to fight.

Jared: Hmmm, that would be an interesting fight to see. But I could see Kat finding a way to talk Mini and Meta into fighting each other. They'll probably both get winded 30 seconds into the fight. Which will then make it easy for Kat to come in and play clean up. I'm pretty sure the reason you wouldn't be in the fight is because Kat would have you chained to her chair Princess Leia style in a sexy slave outfit. It's a bad mental picture, I know, but I'm pretty sure that's how it would go down. Also, for the record, I'm not calling Kat Jabba the Hutt. I'm just pretty sure she would make you her bitch.

AJ:

I don't really have any response to that. I got nothing.

Moving on. Are there any games coming out you're looking forward to? The only thing I can really think of is BioShock Infinite, but that's still a few months off yet.

Jared: I didn't think it was possible to leave you speechless.....

I'm not a fan of BioShock, it's one of those games I just couldn't get in to. I think the one game I am really looking forward to, that I don't think will be out for quite a while is Grand Theft Auto 5. Other than that, I'm kind of looking forward to the South Park: Stick of Truth game. I'm still up in the air on Gears of War Judgement. Also, Army of Two: The Devil's Cartel and Dead Island: Riptide have caught my eye, but I need to see more gameplay on those before I can make up my mind.

AJ: Believe it or not, I hadn't played either of the Army of Two games up until about 2 months ago when I played the first one. It was actually surprisingly entertaining. I usually hate anything 3rd person but that game handled it well. I completely forgot about GTA5, probably because 4 completely ruined my mojo for GTA in general. I put God knows how many hours into Vice City and San Andreas, but only about 35 into GTA4. Hopefully GTA5 will rekindle my love for GTA. Only time will tell.

Let's see, I think we've covered the basics and then some. I'll try something different. Is there anything you'd like to ask the staff or myself? No holds barred. Go nuts.

Jared: My first question: why is it the month I get spotlight is the month after the world was supposed to end? I feel like I am being Punk'd. It's like, "OK, your interview is complete"... *world explodes* Then again, if the world survives, the perfect way to ring in the new year is with an alcoholic.

This is a question for all of the staff: If there was one thing you could change about this website, what would it be and why?

AJ: *hiccup* Yes. Exactly.

The only thing about the website I would change - everyone's profile should say how many games complete people have AND a show a completion percentage. It shouldn't be to hard to code something like that seeing as how everyone's full game history is in their profiles. Oh, and ban Meta.







AJ: What about you, what would you like to see in regards to the site changing a bit?

Jared: Yeah, I say ban both Meta and that Jared character...... wait a minute... I also agree. Mini is just trying to show off. Can we ban him too? I don't like cats. So a lack of those doesn't bother me.

I do think there needs to be a "Block Minioger from posting in the 'Just Completed' topic button." He completes too many damn games......

But seriously, I remember pitching an idea a while back that was along the lines of what you said. I would like there to be an option in your profile to add all of the games you completed to a list. Kind of like the Games List that we already have in our profile, just a separate list for completions.

Also, I think it would be cool to have a friends list in our profiles. Even if you were only able to see your own friends list. That way if you are trying to go to someone's profile to send them a shout out or a private message you don't have to go searching around the website to find them.

AJ: Yea, having a friends option would be neat. I hate having to use the search bar to find people. It'd be much easier to just check your profile and click your friends, assuming you have some.

Well, I think we've covered just about everything and then some! Unless there's anything else you'd like to mention I think that should do it!

You can take this time to thank, yell at and/or threaten people! Thanks from the staff and myself for taking the time out of your schedule to do this interview, hope you enjoyed it!

Jared: I just want to take this last moment to thank the members of this site. This is an amazing community and I enjoy being a part of it. There are problems here and there with people, but what group doesn't have their share of problems? Thank you and good night!!!

AJ: As usual, I must have the last word! So thanks again for doing this. I guess the pictures weren't good enough because Revelation complained that they were of poor quality (oh well).

Lastly, as always - enjoy the shades!

Keywords: Duffman, The Simpsons, Simpsons, Jared, Drinking, Drunk douches