First!
Hey I found Lou in the picture game, he's third from the left in the second row.
Hey I found Lou in the picture game, he's third from the left in the second row.
Mexico's Finest - June's Community Spotlight
Interview | June 1, 2012 9:00 am
By AJ
AJ: Gahh... I can't believe XBA nominated a Mexican for the Community Spotlight (no offense to anyone actually Mexican, but Lou is the worst. Check this thread for everything Lou is responsible for, damn it Lou!).
Well, I guess start off by trying to convince people you're Puerto Rican. Tell us a little (or a lot) about yourself.
Lou: Damn you, gringo!
Lets see... First off, I'd like to thank everyone who voted for this boricua. It's truly an honor. I've met a lot of great people here. Revelation, Trixie Koontz, Evil, Maglite, Snapple, Kait, Meta and, of course, you (AJ) are some of my favorites.
I was raised a military brat. My dad was in the Army for 22 years. I was born in Germany. We moved around a lot, but I consider New Jersey my home. We lived there the longest and most of my family and friends live there.
I went to military school in Virginia Beach. Once I graduated I enlisted in the Marines for four years. I look pretty sexy in Dress Blues by the way. I did a tour in Iraq for 6 months before my convoy got hit by an IED (Improvised explosive device). I injured my back and wasn't allowed to re-enlist.
Shortly after, I joined the Army and spent four great years there before I decided to get out. I moved to Texas so I could be closer to my sister. I now work at a veteran's retirement home. One of the greatest jobs ever. I get to work and be around veterans who sacrificed so much for us.
The only part that sucks is when one them passes away. Its really hard and you can't help but get attached. I've heard a lot of great stories. One of my favorite residents is "Coach". He played 4 years for the San Diego Chargers, and coached high school football afterward. I don't wanna brag, but I also have around 10 girlfriends and they're all over 80, lol.
I was married for four years before I realized my wife was the anti-Christ, and I have 3 beautiful kids. I have a 6 year old daughter who is the biggest daddy's girl, Kayla, and twin boys, Anthony and Joshua, who are 5. They take after their dad; they love the ladies. They live in Georgia with their mom. I miss them a lot and I'm hoping I get to see them this summer.
I also love achievements, Star Wars, and spending time with family and friends.
AJ: *sniffle, wipes off a single tear rolling down cheek*
I don't think I'll ever talk bad about a brave Columbian like youself, ever again. First off I'd like to say thanks for dedicating 8 years to serving our country. Without people like you, people like me would have to do it!
It sounds like you're doing some really meaningful work, I commend you for that as well.
Your twins definitely don't take after you if they love the ladies. You... don't. I remember all those things you promised me!
Well, now that that's out of the way, why don't you tell us how you got sucked into the world of gamerscore and how you found out about the site. I didn't think Cubans were allowed on the interwebz.
Lou: Do we have a HR department I could report you to? I don't do coke and my daddy isn't Castro. I’m Puerto Rican damnit… get it right!!! I wouldn't expect a klan man, like yourself, to understand. I make everyone's life a little better. Everyone needs a tall, dark and handsome friend like me. Just ask Xavier (Revelation) or Neysa (Trixie). They'd be lost without me.
I got hooked on achievements when I played my very first Xbox 360 title, which was Bioshock. I'm not a completionist like I use to be, but I still love achievements. Most people already know that I hate collectibles with a passion. I probably could have completed a lot more games if I collected. My favorite type of games are shooters, but I'll play almost anything.
I'm not exactly sure how I found the site. It's been so long, I can't remember. I'm glad I found it though. This is the best set of gamers on the web. Everyone is really cool and they're always willing to help out. I LOVE YOU ALL!
No HR Department, but we made this game as a consolation prize!
AJ: I'm sorry, I'll really try to remember you're Brazilian, it's just so hard when pictures like these surface!
The many identities of Lou!
I definitely hear you when it comes to collectibles. They are just horrible, unnecessary and probably the worst type of achievement possible.
It's a shame you don't remember how you joined the site, I'm pretty sure Meta mentioned something about a one night stand with some average looking Guatemalan guy, I have no doubt in my mind it was probably you.
Lou: Meta is a cheating bastard. I found out that he runs around spreading his legs for everyone. I was supposed to be his one and only. I've gotten over him though. Xavier is my new boy toy. We recently purchased a property in Puerto Rico. Long walks on the beach and sunsets are his favorites. It brings tears to his eyes everytime. We also hired Neysa as our gardener. No one grows plants like a true beaner.
AJ: Here's a question I've never asked anyone before; what game has gotten under your skin the most? I know I get pretty mad at a lot of games, but what game
just makes you want crawl into a corner and cry or jump in front of a truck?
Lou:I've played a lot of terrible games in my time. My all time most hated game would have to be Brink. One of the shittiest games ever. I bought it on day one too. I could never get into it and it just wasn't fun. I actually snapped the disk in half.
Another game I hate is Trials HD. I'm horrible at that game. I never get any better, no matter how much I play it. I've cursed that game and thrown a few controllers. Dead Rising is another game I found to be dumb.
AJ: I agree with you about Brink, that was the assiest ass game that ever assed. Everything about it was terrible, even playing coop which made it harder (but I did complete it, because I'm no bitch)!
Anyway, anyone that doesn't like Trials is automatically my arch nemesis. Prepare to die you Chilean infidel!
Mexican hit squad... the other half of the people who came in that car have already dispersed.
Lou: I guess I would like Trials if I was any good, but I'm horrible at it.
AJ: Ok, maybe I'll wait til after the spotlight to send my hit squad. Here goes the next question, I know you used to live in Washington but have since moved to Texas. Besides living closer to your sister, and that whore slut bitch Meta, what do you like more about Texas and what do you wish Texas did/had that Washington does/did? We all know the biggest reason you moved was to be closer to Mexico, so try to come up with something different.
Lou: I left Washington once I got out of the military. I do miss it a lot. I loved living there, especially in Seattle. One of the greatest cities, in my opinion. I left to be closer to my family, my sister lives here with her family. I used to complain about how much it rains in Washington. We don't get that much rain here, I kinda miss it. I like both places though.
The mexicans here are pretty cool. I've already been to a few mexican bbqs and its some of the best food I've ever eaten. My neighbor is actually Mexican. He's a real cool guy. He's a gardener too. Who would of thought?
AJ: A Mexican gardener, would've never guessed. I don't really have any witty responses to anything else so I'll just let you answer these questions the other staff came up with for you! Feel free to skip any, but do your best.
Kat wants to know, "Was it difficult to transition to America when you came from Spain? What was your first thought seeing a woman's shaved armpits? Also, when you caulked up a 1968 El Camino to float over from Cuba, did you have a power supply to hook your 360 up to?"
Meta wants to know, "Since you're from Guam, can you actually locate your birthplace on a map? Have you ever met any fellow Guamish? Have you been spendin' most your life livin' in a Guamish paradise? Also, does he hope to return to his homeland of Haiti one day or does he plan to assimilate? So Lou, being Dominican Republican, how hard is it for you to find a girl that doesn't immediately scream and run? And lastly, What is your favourite meme (I'm assuming they have internets in Ecuador, if not sorry)?"
Hektic wants to know, "How does it feels to be the first Venezuelan member of XbA?"
Lou: I think my favorite meme will answer all of your questions.
AJ: I... Don't really know how to respond to that... I'm just going to pretend I never saw it!
Let's see, I've pretty much covered all my usual questions, gotten the staff to ask a few and Revelation is cooking up some hilarious pictures you won't see until the spotlight gets published. You have any idea what they could look like?
TERES' MOAR!?!11/?!?!//!? Dis aszhol b erryywher!
Lou: I have no idea, but I'm sure they'll be hilarious. They always are.
AJ: Well, I don't really have anything else to ask you. So, feel free to speak your mind and tell us some shit if you want. Otherwise that's a wrap.
Hopefully everyone will make fun of you in the comments.
Lou: Thanks again to everyone who voted for me. It really means a lot.
AJ: Well, thanks for participating in this month's Community Spotlight! Hopefully I wasn't too hard on you (even though you should be used to it by now)! I'll wrap the interview up with a new feature that Revelation came up with that will be implemented in future Spotlights, feel free to set this picture as your computer's background - it's a personalized monthly game release calendar featuring the current month's Spotlight-ee!
As always, a big thanks to Revelation for doing all the graphics!
Last thing I want on my desktop is some Eskimo asshole, but please feel free to use this as your computer's desktop!
(Source: Some Greek Douche-Nozzle)
Keywords: Lou, all ethnicities except Puerto Rican
