Interview | September 1, 2013 9:00 am

By AJ

Nailed it...

AJ: I'm not going to come up with some fancy intro. Look at the picture above, it's Tig this time. Deal with it.

Ok, let's do this thing. So, you've been around a while, helping out with waffle order (even though it's pretty much done with now), having a crazy ex (I'm pretty sure that was you), and doing some other stuff as well.

Why don't we go back to the old first couple questions: how'd you find the site, what are 7 reasons why Meta shouldn't ban you, what do you want people to know about you, will you take Katlissa out on a date to a waffle house?


Tig: First off, yes, the waffle thread seems to be completely dead for the past month or so. I may start putting aside a budget to buy games and throw them in to keep the thread going. Doesn't help that it never really gets bumped so it just gets piled under all of the other threads. Oh, and I'm not gonna talk about that crazy whore of a woman I called a gf. She's dead to me.

Anyways, I've been around XBA for close to 3 years now. I remember hearing about the site while I was in a boosting match through x360a, I believe. I don't really recall what exactly caught my interest in hearing about the site but figured I would check it out anyway and I think I made the right choice by signing up. You look at other Xbox sites and most generally have a larger community but that's kind of what kept me with XBA is the close-knit community. I feel like I'm pretty active on the site but I'm one of the ones that you other more active members really don't know about, but I guess that's why I'm in the spotlight now.

7 reasons why Meta shouldn't ban me? Well lets see....

1. I have a mustache. (With great mustache, comes great responsibility)
2. I don't talk about Snapple's mom's sniz.
3. I would take both him AND Kat to the waffle house.
4. I have never seen any Star Wars movie (ok, that one might actually get me banned)
5. I'm a lover, not a fighter.
6. Meta won't ban a naked guy.
7. Chuck Norris

As for what I want people to know about me? Well I'm different in person than I am on the site. I'd rather interact with people face to face than on a computer so in person I'm a lot more open, outgoing, and pretty sarcastic (annoyingly sarcastic I've been told). I work 3 jobs. I do CrossFit religiously, so much so that I'm training for the Open and Regionals next year which will probably be in Chicago. CrossFit is a big reason why my gamerscore hasn't really budged for a while. So as you can tell I'm a huge fitness guy so if you got any questions, feel free to ask anytime. Other than spending my time at work or working out, I love to watch/play sports, I have size 15 feet, I don't care to ever watch the Twilight movies, and as I have told some of you before, I kind of split my time between being back home in Idaho and here in Minnesota but I will be moving to Phoenix in December because I really can't stand the snow here in MN anymore. I mean, it snowed in May!! Anyway, if there is anything anyone would like to know, just ask. Honestly, I don't know what I want people to know about me, just started spilling random facts about myself.

And of course I would take Katlissa to the waffle house. A house made out of waffles is something everyone should experience!!!!


AJ: Damn, bro.... That's a lot of info. I think that might be grounds for banning right there. Meta wasn't edumacated very well and isn't used to seeing such large quantities of words without errors...

Seriously though, you might have bigger feet than Minioger, that's kind of bragging rights around these parts (of course he'll just say his feet are bigger).

Kat will also be pleased about you taking her to waffle house. Don't try to get anything outta her though, I think she likes chicks.

Anyway, let's keep this spotlight going. I know you've had a plethora of gamertags all the while I've known of your existence, any funny stories behind any of those? Also, what's the deal with Tig? You're not Tig Notaro, are you?


Tig: Nice to know Kat and I have the same interests; we both like chicks.

I honestly can't even count on 2 hands all of the gamertags I've had on my account. There hasn't really been any reasoning behind changing my gamertag other than complete boredom. I get bored very easily and need change. It's a sickness. That's also why I've moved around so much. But yeah, out of all my gamertags, there was one that wasn't changed by me. I was signed up under my brother's account when he had the family plan and I had to give him my password for something. Well he had changed my gamertag to, "Hey Who Sharted," which I actually thought was pretty funny so I kept it but within a few weeks someone had complained about it so Microsoft made me change it.

I don't even know who Tig Notaro is, lol. No, Tig came from Kim Coates's character in Sons of Anarchy, who has happen to become one of my favorite TV characters, behind Walter White (Breaking Bad). But the nickname came about at work before I really watched the show. I guess I used to act a lot like Tig at work and people who watched the show would say, "You remind me a lot of Tig, you act just like him," and I'd say, "Tig who?" So after they told me, I began watching the show and became addicted to it.


AJ: Fair enough. Tig Notaro is a comedian, she's alright. She kind of looks like Hammond from Top Gear, I think that's funnier than she is (actually, she's pretty good).

Tig Notaro, definitely related to Hammond from Top Gear...

Anyway, I remember when you were, "Hey Who Sharted," can't believe that lasted as long as it did. My buddy was, "Hitlers Oven" for about 12 seconds before he was console banned. You should hit up Detroit, I know he's been forced to change his tag a lot as well.

Also, I'm not so sure Katlissa likes women... I think she hates everything and everyone, but hates women a bit less. I'm sure she'll chime in about it though.

So. Why gamerscore? What's the reasoning you have to keep adding small numbers to get a big number? You have any goals you'd like to hit? Also, what's you're proudest gaming accomplishment, it can be related to gamerscore or it can be something completely different.


Tig: For me, gamerscore was never about the points. I never really cared how high my gamerscore was. It was just basically about me wanting to complete anything I could, regardless of a point system. Ever since I played Final Fantasy and Zelda for the first times, I always wanted to try and complete every possible mission, get every item, and basically trying to 100% those games, especially RPGs. So when games started having achievements, I tried my best to get every possible achievement that I could because it was another goal I could set for myself besides trying to 100% a game. The achievement system gives you extra replayabilty and work to do stuff that you probably wouldn't normally do without an achievement to go for.

I don't have any particular goals to work for as far as gaming goes. I've actually been watching a lot of speedruns on Twitch and I'd love to try and speedrun a game sometime, but I don't know if I can handle playing the same game over and over again.

My proudest accomplishment is still in the works right now, I've been playing FF7 for a while now and I'm trying to completely max the game out with all 99 level characters, all side quests, all weapons, ultimate weapons, all items, all materias, all chocobos and having the max of eveything which has taken me a very long time but I'm slowly grinding away at it. With my work schedule though, I don't have a lot of time to do anything with it lately so I've been putting it off for a while. When I get done I'll move on to FF8 and do the same thing. Yeah people think its a waste of time, but any type of video game is very relaxing for me after I get done with a 65-70 hour work week.


AJ: Speedrun? SPEEDRUN? OMFG PLAY TRIALS HD/EVOLUTION RIGHT NOW! Compete with me! Many people from the site will you tell you I'm an awesome rival! Meta loves competing against me so hard he's almost killed himself 12 times, just sayin'. But seriously, get those games, if you have any sort of sanity you won't after trying to 100% those games. Not even the completion douche-king, Minioger, would give those games a chance, he's such a puss. They do take a while to get to used to, but the controls couldn't be simpler - lean forward and backward/gas and brake. What's not to like about the simplicity of that?!11?!1?//!one!/!/!11!

Honestly, what you're doing in FF is the same thing I did in Gran Turismo 4 on PS2 back in high school. I wanted to do everything so bad in that game. I solely played that game for 3 years trying to get everything done. There was so much to do, I ended up getting around 96% complete which was like 2,000 races/objectives. I did just about everything, even the 24 hour races (actual racing for 24 hours...). That's probably why I don't like racing games as much I once did.

Let's see... We know something about you now. Time for the shenanigans. If you had your choice of being completely naked 24/7 no matter what you did (even if you tried to put clothes they would spontaneously combust because of some black magic, gypsy, mayan curse) while being beyond filthy, disgustingly rich (think Bill Gates, Oprah and a few oil sheiks combined) BUT you had tourettes that made you spew nonsense that would make a schizophrenic hooker run the other way or you could dress how ever you wanted (I'm thinking you're a skinny jeans wearing asshat) while being the same amount of rich as previously mentioned but you had terrible B.O. and halitosis to match that could be smelled from a block away (I'm thinking rotting cheese, roadkill, and Meta's hamper) which situation would you like to have?


Tig: Well this may be my shortest answer of the interview so far, but I'd rather be a naked billionaire with tourettes than have B.O.


AJ: I find your lack of answer very depressing after putting a lot of thought into my question.... I'll leave it up to you to revive this now, jackass.


Tig: Well I have a, "Would You Rather..." of my own to ask you. So lets see how this one plays out. I won't go into a lot of detail so I'll keep it short and sweet (well not so sweet). Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day for a year or join in once?


AJ: Definitely watch. Because once you saw just a split second you could close your eyes and be done with it because technically you watched, after 365 seconds, you'd be done. I'm pretty sure that 99% of people have walked in on their parents/guardians/etc. at one point or another anyway. Joining in would just be something completely life changing and utterly horrendous... Fir realz.


Tig: Ha. Guess I should have been more specific. You have to keep your eyes open for the whole thing, shithead. You can't be finding loopholes in my question so you can get out of the horror that is watching your dad bend your mom over.


AJ: Too late, bro. You had your chance and blew it!

So... Are you getting the new Xboner? What do you/don't you like about it?


Tig: Yes, I am getting the XB1. I've had the Day One Edition pre-ordered since the first day as well as the PS4. Forza 5 will definitely be a day one buy for me. I was honestly hoping they would have kept the DRM policies in place. Would have been a new and interesting direction for Microsoft to go. I haven't really read much about it other than that and the achievement system.

The challenges sound pretty interesting as well. And I don't get why everybody is so bitchy about the kinect. I really don't mind it at all. The only thing I hate about it is the hefty price tag it's gonna carry if you wanna buy the system, a few games, renew your Xbox Live if you have to, and maybe an extra controller. That could cost you around $700 day one but I'm such a fan of the Xbox that I really don't care. The only problem is with my schedule I don't know how much time I'm gonna be able to play it, lol.


AJ: But seriously, you wanted the DRM policies that Doucherosoft originally wanted.... KEPT IN PLACE?! Are you secretly working for them? If so, you're rightfully banned. Perma-banned.

Definitely what's about to happen.

I can't pull the trigger on the Nextbox, there's some great games that I'll definitely want like Dead Rising 3, Forza 5, etc. but I just can't do it. For 400 and a game included I would've been all over it.

I'll wait for the inevitable price drop/game bundle then pick one up. I still have so many games to play on the 360 that I can't even muster up the motivation to start. Maybe someday...


Tig: I think at the very least if I do buy one and decide I don't want it, I can flip it and sell it to someone in line at BestBuy for a crazy amount.


AJ: So... You're going to play it for 12 minutes in your car, decide you don't want it and sell it shortly thereafter? Why not just smash it with a sledgehammer in front of kids waiting and make them cry..?


Tig: Lol, I actually thought about doing that when I bought the Gears of War 3 Epic Edition. Our Gamestop only had 1 and I bought it and carried it outside and told my buddy that I should have just asked someone in line if they wanted it then run it over with my car.


AJ: That probably would've been the absolute best thing to do, ever.

Well, I can't really think of anything else to ask, so go ahead and give your final thoughts/shout-outs/expletives.


Tig: Well, that shout-out would have to be to the entire XBA community. It's been a great experience being a part of this site so far and getting to know quite a few people and gaming with 'em. Also, I appreciate you, AJ, for doing this interview. I know it got cut kind of short because of my busy work schedule but this will probably be a great way to leave a stamp on the XBA website and let people know who I really am and what I'm all about. I look forward to getting to know everyone a little bit more and maybe extend this interview a bit in the future. But for now, I bid you all farewell and money for cab fare is on the dresser. Goodbye!


AJ: Well, as usual I have to have the last word. Hopefully people will ask you stupid shit in the comments and you can continue the interview there. Thanks again for making time for this and as always, enjoy the shades!

Good luck with these...

Keywords: Stig, Dig, Fig, Mig