i was browsing around CL and i found this quite funny as hell.
hopefully you all find it funny as well.
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
>
> I was the white guy with the black Burrberry
> jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you
> pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked
for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow
> come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
>
>
> I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I
> drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was
> wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it
> wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
> just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
> Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster
for
> it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
> It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed
> at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't
> a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come
> from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants.
> I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up
> leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I
> couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come
> help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
calling
> your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in
> your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also
> bought myself s ome gas on your card. I gave your shoes to
> one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's,
> along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw
the
> wallet itself in a dumpster.
> I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
> They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know
> which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've
> only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I
> don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
> haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to
> make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office
> with it. Oh well.
> So, about your pants. I know that I was a little
> rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging
> thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure
> you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to
> help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the
> detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use,
and
> was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for
> not killing you and instead making you walk back home
> humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your
> choice of path in life.
> Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read
> this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
> Peace! - Alex
hopefully you all find it funny as well.
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
>
> I was the white guy with the black Burrberry
> jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you
> pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked
for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow
> come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
>
>
> I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I
> drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was
> wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it
> wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
> just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
> Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster
for
> it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
> It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed
> at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't
> a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come
> from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants.
> I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up
> leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I
> couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come
> help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
calling
> your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in
> your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also
> bought myself s ome gas on your card. I gave your shoes to
> one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's,
> along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw
the
> wallet itself in a dumpster.
> I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
> They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know
> which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've
> only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I
> don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
> haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to
> make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office
> with it. Oh well.
> So, about your pants. I know that I was a little
> rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging
> thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure
> you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to
> help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the
> detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use,
and
> was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for
> not killing you and instead making you walk back home
> humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your
> choice of path in life.
> Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read
> this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
> Peace! - Alex
