this was mentioned in my "sound but noooooo picture" thread, i just believe it deserves a thread of its own. it tells a story of the original xbox 360 owners. i call it now:
5 pound paperweight
My 360 is a PIECE OF SHIT!
Wanna throw you off a cliff
Watch you crash into a ravine
For the things you did to me, you...
STUPID CONSOLE!
I wanna make myself a pipe bomb
Blow your damn engine back to hell
Where I know you're from.
Piece of CRAP!
You aren't even worth the throw
To a junkyard or a place
Where you'd sit and lay to waste, I...
WISH YOU'D DIE!
Oh never mind, you always do.
Could you tell me how much longer it will be
Until I'm rid of you?
I wish that you'd just get hit by lightning (or something)
My confidence in you is sold with every part I buy
I guess I'm just a sucker with a lemon
So pucker up and kiss another paycheck goodbye!
You bitch more than a newborn baby
I cool you off all the time but still you need some more
Your red rings come in assorted colors
Such wondrous variety of problems galore
Will there be a time
When I know I can play a game
Without my 360 breaking down?
And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the suffering
(Stupid fucking console)
My 360 is a PIECE OF SHIT!
I ought to give you a swift kick
In the fan, in the hard drive
Or where ever I desire you...
STUPID CONSOLE!
You never get me very far when
You decide playing with friends is a mortal sin
PIECE OF CRAP!
I guess you want a piece of me
Since you're leaving all your pieces
In the middle of my room
You heap of JUNK!
I don't know what I'm gonna do
I just hope that I don't have to take another day of playing you
I swear you must be older than my grandma (and she's dead)
The fact you run at all is quite a mystery to me
Your rings are approaching red
May God have mercy on the soul that's holding the controller
I'm guess I'm just a little angry
But for some reason, getting stranded kinda chaps my hide.
You probably think I'm slightly overreacting
Has your console ever made you think about suicide?
Will there be a time
When I know I can play a game
Without my 360 breaking down?
And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the suffering
Will there be a time
When I know I can play
Without my console breaking down on me?
And will I ever see
It start consistent...
(360 starts up)
What the...?
C'mon... give me a break!
(360 sputters, and dies)
Alright... PEICE OF SHIT!!
(commence hitting 360 with baseball bat)
DIE!!!!
AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
what do you think?
5 pound paperweight
My 360 is a PIECE OF SHIT!
Wanna throw you off a cliff
Watch you crash into a ravine
For the things you did to me, you...
STUPID CONSOLE!
I wanna make myself a pipe bomb
Blow your damn engine back to hell
Where I know you're from.
Piece of CRAP!
You aren't even worth the throw
To a junkyard or a place
Where you'd sit and lay to waste, I...
WISH YOU'D DIE!
Oh never mind, you always do.
Could you tell me how much longer it will be
Until I'm rid of you?
I wish that you'd just get hit by lightning (or something)
My confidence in you is sold with every part I buy
I guess I'm just a sucker with a lemon
So pucker up and kiss another paycheck goodbye!
You bitch more than a newborn baby
I cool you off all the time but still you need some more
Your red rings come in assorted colors
Such wondrous variety of problems galore
Will there be a time
When I know I can play a game
Without my 360 breaking down?
And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the suffering
(Stupid fucking console)
My 360 is a PIECE OF SHIT!
I ought to give you a swift kick
In the fan, in the hard drive
Or where ever I desire you...
STUPID CONSOLE!
You never get me very far when
You decide playing with friends is a mortal sin
PIECE OF CRAP!
I guess you want a piece of me
Since you're leaving all your pieces
In the middle of my room
You heap of JUNK!
I don't know what I'm gonna do
I just hope that I don't have to take another day of playing you
I swear you must be older than my grandma (and she's dead)
The fact you run at all is quite a mystery to me
Your rings are approaching red
May God have mercy on the soul that's holding the controller
I'm guess I'm just a little angry
But for some reason, getting stranded kinda chaps my hide.
You probably think I'm slightly overreacting
Has your console ever made you think about suicide?
Will there be a time
When I know I can play a game
Without my 360 breaking down?
And will I ever see
It start consistently
Without the pain and the suffering
Will there be a time
When I know I can play
Without my console breaking down on me?
And will I ever see
It start consistent...
(360 starts up)
What the...?
C'mon... give me a break!
(360 sputters, and dies)
Alright... PEICE OF SHIT!!
(commence hitting 360 with baseball bat)
DIE!!!!
AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
what do you think?
