Isn't this the best Beat-em up ever? In your dreams!
So Castle Crashers, we finally meet. Prepare yourself, for its time for your interview with Super Hyper X! It's been a long time since gamers played a decent beat em up, but are you what tons of gamers waiting for?
Wait a minute.... why am I talking to a game? I must be going crazy.
So basically, Castle Crashers is a video game where you play as four different colored knights where its your job to drink booze while listening to Led Zeppelin, and party with cheap ass hoes while you wait for the kingdom to fall under attack. Ah, now that's the American dream. Castle Crashers is a classic beat-em up, such as Streets of Rage and Turtles in Time. However, the game is actually based on a world map, like Super Mario World, and it is an adventure game. But the game itself is pretty linear, which questions the need why we need an over world setting. The over world is littered with shops, arenas and inaccessible areas till the time comes you can reach them, so I guess that's enough to make up for it. But, I think it would've been nice to have multiple branching paths to increase different ways to beat the game.
Enough with the over world, what about the game play? X is light attack, Y is heavy attack, A is jump, B is use an item, LB and RB cycle through items, Left Trigger blocks, and Right Trigger + face buttons X, Y, and B is magic. The controls aren't bad. Combat is easy, and it never bothers you. X and Y button presses make stabbing and chopping heads off fun.
Even though combat is good, leveling up SUCKS. The big deal with this is that the more you level up, the more moves you learn. However, I don't believe that you learn new techniques often enough in this game. I learned a 3 combo move at level 20 or something, LATE IN THE GAME I MAY ADD! Really, is that the best this game has to offer? But every time you level up, you get to increase the abilities you choose. There are even pets that give you new abilities, like the Bat chews on bad guys, and the Polar bear mauls people to death. You even get new weapons and characters.
I even want to say that some level designs were brilliant and put well together, or at least most of them were. Unfortunately, some level designs were worst than others. In this level, I'm running away from a giant cat! Oh no! And this one, I'm fighting people that just throw snow balls. Wow. They fail to make the game more exciting the closer you get to the end.
I'd hate to say it, but these enemies you fight suck. Don't get me wrong, they aren't all the same, but the variety in there moves could be a lot better if you ask me. Some enemies are big with muscles, and these guys are impossible to fight without losing a chunk of your health. Sure, you can shoot them with magic, but you've got to move away from them while doing it. I especially hate how there are enemies that are really annoying and they just keep appearing with no new enemies around, COME ON! This method of killing is a terrible addition to the game play. I just want to stab things please...
Boss fights aren't bad, but they could be better. I would actually like to kill these guys in a variety of different ways other than just run up to them and stab'em to death. Don't get me wrong, there are boss fights that get fun, but still, the feeling that the last boss battle was much more fun than this one I'm fighting right now keeps coming back. I expect the next boss battle to be better! Seriously, most of these lame ass bosses require repetitive attacks to beat them, and I refuse to keep doing that! That one corn boss had me jumping and stabbing him like 50 times. However, I personally enjoyed the cat boss, that Groom boss, and especially the volleyball thing was really creative.
Castle Crashers also features a game called "All you can Quaf." You can play this game besides the arcade game as an alternative. Whoever eats the most food wins. You eat more food by pressing X and Y alternatively.
So basically, whoever pushes X and Y the fastest wins!
What the fuck is this, Mario Party? So basically, with all the spare time the developers had, they decided to add a stupid mini game besides making the other shitty stuff I mentioned better? We're not playing on the Wii you assholes, its a fucking Xbox Live Arcade game! Do something better why don't you?
So overall, my score for this game 7.4 out of 10. The game is fun, but the way they organized this game is awful. The game should get better and more exciting the more you play it, but it dumbs down, than goes back up, than down again. They could've made the bosses more fun, the enemies not so cheap with attacks, and gradually put well designed levels in a better order. The game is pretty short too.
As for the achievements.............................. I forgot the achievements. I didn't really care about them. So, go check this game out for the adventure. It has its ups and downs, but I like the game. But if I had to choose between Turtles and Time and Castle Crashers to surrender to a homicidal maniac, let it be this game.
I recommend this game to anyone that likes to stab people... in video games. Have fun!
